Reigniting the Fire: The Camino Aragones (alternative start point for the French route)
It is barely light and I am struggling along a narrow mud track in northern Spain. All around the impervious Pyrenees, impossibly high peaks straining for the sky. Sleep was patchy in the hostel and I’m bleary eyed and stumbling along, waking up to the dawn. The hand-painted yellow arrows point the way to Santiago, 800km away, but I won’t get there this time only having 10 days. The spiders’ webs brush off my face and arms and it thrills to know that I am the first one on the trail. My muscles are a bit sore from the previous day’s walking but I know that this will wear off. I am on the Camino and it is utterly thrilling and enveloping, an unexpected joy overtakes me and I rejoice in being alive, being able to walk and watching the world wake up. 
The morning sun flares behind the Pyrenees, a reminder of the heat that will soon overtake me. Surrounded by mountains, they rear up into the sky on all sides. Far from claustrophobic it is freeing to see the blue sky framed by ragged peaks. It is like the risky adventure of life, beauty is framed by danger and inaccessible climbs, yet there exists a safe track through, a pass in the terrors, passage in the storm, a rite of obedience, permitting a possible path. It is a day of fields of wheat and barley, shorn stubble and big bales stranded on the soil. The path follows farm tracks and an old road into a broad valley that eventually glitters blue-green, a reservoir that looks out of place in such aridity. Skirting the lake, I am mercifully shaded by an oak forest that stretched on for miles until a 10thcentury castle reared its head.
The other hikers are behind me, strung out on the trail, but I won’t see them till the stop for mid-morning coffee. I look forward to the banter, the slagging and the check in. For now, I am totally alone and loving it. I need to walk as far as I can before the sun gets up, it’s already 23 degrees and after midday promises to be scorching. In the stillness and
This was my third Camino, I had walked the entire Northern Route in 2011 and had to abandon the Camino Ignaciano due to an injury in 2015. Indomitably, here I was back doing the 170 km Camino Aragones, an alternative starting place for the famous French route. With only about 10 days available and trying to coordinate with a friend, we agreed that this route would be a good fit. Flying into Biarritz was easy and a bus and a train brought us to the starting point in the Pyrenees, Somport, right on the Spanish border. This walk was dedicated to my sister Connie and her late husband Marcio who died just before I left for Spain.
Genuine freedom
We are all pilgrims in the world and only passing through, but it is easy to get attached to things and believe the illusion of the material world. It goes without saying that you have to let go of a lot to be a pilgrim, walking the Camino de Santiago is the modern equivalent. As on the Camino and as in life, we have to travel light and adapt to whatever comes our way whether it is the weather, health issues, unexpected obstacles or inner wounds or blocks. The point is that many of these things are beyond our control and leaving control aside and trusting in providence is the only way to really live. However, it’s not so easy as it sounds as expectations get in the way (I need good food, rest, hygiene, luxury etc. to be happy). Modern life presupposes control of our environment and lots of technology surrounds and cushions us. The liberation involved in letting go of comfort, ease and security is hard won. 
Being a pilgrim on the Camino teaches this freedom from things to concentrate on others: walking, talking, praying, appreciating, living. You actually need very little to get by and all the things we think we need (technology, comfort, riches, style etc) has no value on the road. A rucksack that would contain everything you think you need would be impossible to carry. This is a great liberation and the recuperation of what it means to be human: a pilgrim on the road, dependent on providence and on others. The joy attached to this is palpable and infectious.
St Ignatius calls this spiritual freedom, the ability to be free of small things for greater things; things are good but only up to a point, in so far as they bring me to God. Deeper living is the desire, things that really satisfy, not empty distractions. The opposite of freedom is attachment: I can’t move as I’m chained to something. I have to have certain things, I impose limits, I won’t accept the basic simplicity of the Camino. This is the tragedy of course, that such great joy exists so close and yet we are kept from it by smaller things.
Asking for help
I had my first visit to the pharmacist on the second day of the Camino (I really should have a loyalty card!). It was just a painful tendon that with some advice and over the counter medicine improved within a day. Because of all my previous injury experiences I am somewhat of an expert on the Spanish health system and was able to help some other pilgrims. One of the funniest moments was where I had to coach another pilgrim to say how bad things were in order to get seen.
The point is everybody needs help at some stage and it’s all about treating, alleviating and avoiding in order that you can keep on the Camino. Yet I know that many still see it as weakness to ask for help or are stuck in some macho, perfectionist place that excludes such a possibility. From my time working in suicide prevention and mental health, I know the real courage and wisdom is knowing when to ask for help. How many reading this are limping along, just getting by, prisoners of false pride or just fear?
Community
Even though we were all from different countries and were only together for about a week, some very strong bonds were formed between the nine of us walkers. Diego, Manuel, Vicenzo, Silvia, Monica, Michi, Joan, Alan & Brendan. It didn’t matter what your background was or what you worked at, it was you as you appeared on the trail, a human being. Walking together, albeit spaced out over many kilometres, has you care about what happens to the others. In the afternoons we all toiled into the hostel and were there for each other patching up the bodies and debriefing on the day. 
One episode that stands out: Vincenzo the Italian pulling a cart, arriving in really late, exhausted and in some distress. One of the other guys, Manuel, embraced him warmly and congratulated him on making it, intuitively understanding this guy needed support and human affection at what was a real low point. On another occasion the Italian’s harness for pulling his cart came apart and the same guy spent the whole evening sewing it back together - exceptional generosity and care. I remember one day of over 30kms walking in 33 degree heat where Diego saved me by walking with me and his presence saved me and got me through the toughest day.
The night in Sangüesa the two Italians, Silvia and Vicenzo, prepared a simple meal of pasta and vegetables in the hostel, it tasted better than a five star restaurant for the sheer joy, fun and inclusion. The solidarity wasn’t in the rich fare or surroundings, it was in the common experience of walking together and sharing our lives without pretense or privilege. It was the best night of enjoying simple things with real friends supporting each other on the road.
The Camino goes to the heart of humanity, we are all pilgrims on a common journey, without any of the ridiculous trappings of wealth or power. The Camino strips us of our pretensions and throws us together in our basic humanity (sweat, fatigue, hunger, needs), and that’s what is really beautiful- a smile with no agenda, selfless assistance, words that have meaning and hearts that are giving.
The Camino as the ultimate ‘spiritual retreat’
This is a hiking holiday with a difference, there are many hours spent in silence- up to 4/5 a day. It is the embodied nature of walking that stills the mind, it cuts through all the chatter to a deeper, truer self that is a place of peace and presence.
There is a huge sense of purpose and direction on the pilgrimage - I am connected to others and the past, I am on a journey, like others, that reflects my true nature: a pilgrim in the world. Of course, there is no escape from myself and I am compelled to walk the mush more challenging inner journey. This concerns how I am living the love I have been gifted with, inevitably there is pain, loss and disappointment. But amazingly the Camino provides a way out: I walk through my quirks, personal anguish and pain; there is something beyond the daily demons that haunt us.
The simple lifestyle and pilgrim existence strips back all the layers to the essence of being human- a traveller on a journey, looking for meaning, forgiveness and acceptance
Meeting God, whatever you conceive that to be; you find yourself in the heart of God, not trying to bring God into your heart. God is already there and we stumble into it, surprised at the grace and ease of the divine compassion, feeling unworthy but loved, transformed by a greater light, expanding our horizons and our hearts beyond just ego.
The Camino is therapy for the soul- it’s the physical working out of our pain and worry, sweating our prayers, that brings great joy and healing; hard won grace that paradoxically proves easier that we thought.
12 myths that the Camino explodes about modern culture
1. It’s all about the gear- a minimum of gear is necessary but it’s largely about heart and attitude; gear won’t do the walking for you.
2. You have to be super fit, a rugged outdoor type- if you can walk you can do the Camino; surprise yourself how far you could go, make it manageable and doable.
3. Insulate yourself from nature- being out in nature causes some minor irritations but the healing power vastly outweighs this; the Camino is essentially an extended stroll in nature
4. It’s all about appearance- you can drop the pretence, everyone is equal in the hiking ‘uniform (shorts & T-shirt) and not trying to impress anyone, it’s a huge relief.
5. I have to have a back up (plan/support/technology)- our garages and attics are full of ‘just in cases’, ‘what ifs’ and ‘extra precautions’; sometimes you need to step out into the great unknown and just walk; taking basic precautions you will be surprised at how little you need and how liberating it is to let go control.
6. Hiking is dangerous and dirty- life is dangerous, get over it and get your hands dirty- it feels great
7. Hygiene is everything- hygiene is only ever a minimum desirable standard, it is not a value to be cherished, many necessary shortcuts are taken on the Camino and you don’t die.
8. I have to maintain control (planning, logic and discipline)- you can’t control things anyway is the great illusion so drop it and learn how to really live
9. I am afraid of what might happen- fear creates a self made prison for us; on the Camino all the things you are afraid of will come to pass but they’re nothing to be afraid of.
10. I wouldn’t have time to do it- life is passing you by with trivialities and wasted time on secondary things; it will all look different from the Camino
11. I’ve lost trust in humanity and in a God- get yourself on the Camino and experience a different world which will change your attitude (you may have to let go of a lot of ideology though)
12. I will miss home comforts (WiFi, social media, TV, sofa, bed, sleep, food etc.) - these things will always be there but don’t base your life around them otherwise they become chains
There are a hundred reasons not to go on the Camino and a myriad of excuses - there’s only one reason to go: there is a fire, a desire, an itch that I need to satisfy, a hunger that ordinary life just won’t satisfy, a need to know.
Twelve things the Camino has taught me:
1. Just do it, walk the walk and forget the talk. You do it whatever way you can, not the way you can’t.
2. We see things as we are initially, and not as they are; but give it time and it swings around, a process of letting go control
3. Feel the fear and do it anyway; especially don’t let fear dominate your decisions as it would rob your very soul.
4. You can do much more than you think; purity of intention, trust in providence and the support of other people goes a long way; know when to ask for help
5. You don’t need much to be happy; the consumerist and materialistic world is just a shallow veneer, real happiness can’t be bought
6. Seeing things clearly; a recovery of hope and belief in the goodness of people; it’s a reaction against cynicism and doubt.
7. We are pilgrims on a journey because our time on earth is limited and we must walk as best we can, because we pass this way but once.
8. Walking is the best therapy; it takes you out of your head, it’s the distance and time alone in nature. You solve your issues with your feet, perspiring and getting perspective.
9. God is in the mess; that is in the reality, not in the ideal or ideological; get into it, sweat it out, get your hands and feet dirty, live it all
10. The Camino is an experience that transforms from within, not a set of external beliefs; it is a meeting with a person, the intimate proximity of love
11. The real tragedy is not to live, not to risk it; to stay safe and dull, hiding behind the sedentary opiate of soft existence
12. It’s a God of life and passion; one who walks with us, is close and in all things, who lights a fire in us, and draws us through desire, challenges us, bringing out the best and moving beyond mediocrity.
Pilgrim preparation
There are many websites and blogs on the Camino with really good information on everything from routes, gear and training:
It is best to start small and work within your limits, many do the last 100 km from Sarria to Santiago (the minimum to get the official Compostela certificate). This route is fairly flat, is really well serviced in terms of hostels and restaurants, and there are lots of other pilgrims.
It normally takes about a year to plan a Camino and get everything together, but the key thing to get right is your head, why you are doing it and what your motivation is. Some healthy respect is needed for the demands of the Camino, but also an openness to the real riches that it contains (physical, emotional, spiritual).
See my book, Redemption Road, about how the Camino helped me cope with my brother’s suicide.
Very helpful and honest reflection that expresses beautifully how the Camino is to be experienced
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